This is an update of an original article “There is still hope” from September 2022
Antonia’s life was full of darkness, and it so nearly overwhelmed her. Her time in the House of Opportunity has been far from easy – but now she is looking to the future with hope.
Summer 2022
Antonia never knew the love of a father. Her dad was a drunk, and his neglect of her meant that Antonia was not really sad when her parents divorced. “Unfortunately, that’s when my hell started”, Antonia shares. You see, her mother didn’t seem to love her either. So who could Antonia go to when her mother’s new boyfriend began to abuse her? Mum simply didn’t want to hear or see what was happening.
Antonia was often hungry, her basic needs neglected by day. Neighbours fed her often. Some neglect would have been welcome at night. At the age of 14, Antonia started to experience panic attacks, developed depression and began self-harming. Then, deciding she couldn’t go on, she tried to end her own life. From that time on the psychiatric ward at the hospital became like a second home for her, and she got some help, at last. However, her mother still wouldn’t pay attention, seemingly devoted to Antonia’s half-brother, who took every opportunity to belittle and insult her. Somehow, through all this Antonia found a reason to keep going.
Antonia struggled to finish her schooling, which she managed to do whilst staying on the psychiatric ward. Despite the fact that she had now developed epilepsy, Antonia took the bold step of trying to live on her own. But it was so hard. Too hard. Then she heard about the House of Opportunity in Varaždin. Maybe this was a place that could provide her with what she needed. Or was it too good to be true? But really, what choice was there?
Antonia hasn’t been in the House long, but she can already tell that things are different there. There is a lot for her to work through, but the House team are working with her, and helping her to get the best ongoing treatment she can, as well as putting in the time to just be with her and give her more reasons to keep going. Antonia herself is far from sure, but she certainly hasn’t given up and told us “I believe there is still hope for me”. We believe it too.
May 2024
Antonia has been in the House of Opportunity, off and on, for two years now, and life has been far from easy. The team always retained hope, but Antonia herself has continued to struggle with the legacy of her abuse and the dark impulses that led her to try and take her own life at the age of 14.
Antonia had tried to leave House of Opportunity to live on her own, but the experience was a bruising one. The House of Opportunity team never lost hope even as Antonia made life pretty difficult for anybody who tried to come alongside her and help or offer support. Desperation brought her back to the House of Opportunity, where she found some new residents who were to have a major impact on her life. One day, on a visit to a service at a local church with one of these new friends, Antonia describes an experience that “felt like I was floating. God didn’t stop even then. It was just the beginning”.
Many months later and the House of Opportunity team are amazed at the change in Antonia. The depressed, volatile and hurt girl of the last two years has transformed into a young women who smiles, engages with her house mates and looks at the world with a sense of hope she longed for all her life.
Antonia will be graduating properly from House of Opportunity soon. She has her faith in God, her friends and the future. And at last, real hope.
Antonia with Danijela (standing), Manager at House of Opportunity Varaždin, and former House resident Valerija.