Marta’s fight is now on the inside
Marta’s* family fled the war in her home country to come live with their father in Serbia, when she was 15 years old. Although her family of father, mother, two brothers and three sisters was now together, conflict remained the defining theme of life for Marta.
The family was dominated by their father, and he poisoned the family dynamic, particularly with his behaviour toward the children. The family was also extremely poor, and was constantly on the move in search of income. The challenges of learning a new culture and language, the irregular relocations of home and school, and the relentless family conflict and deprivation led to a serious decline in Marta’s well-being and she developed anxiety and insomnia, and struggled with persistent restlessness. After three years, her father’s erratic and ugly behaviour was bad enough that Marta herself reported him to the police after a violent outburst against her younger sister.
The Centre for Social Work was now involved. Marta was 17 and wanted to stay in Niš, the town her family had last moved to, but mother took her brothers and sisters and returned to their home country.
In November Marta was provided with a place in the local House of Opportunity programme.
Predictably, Marta has not found it easy to adapt to her new situation. The trauma of her childhood and the violence she endured have left a deep mark, and when she joined the House she was nervous and emotionally very unstable. But the House team provided friendly, patient support, and a place in which Marta could at last begin to feel safe. The conflict in her life is now an internal one. Her wounds are deep, but there is hope. Despite ongoing mood swings, stressful situations, peer-related challenges, and daily internal struggles, the loving support Marta now receives from the house parents, and the friendliness of her new house mates has gradually helped her to accept her new reality. For the first time in a long time, has begun to smile again.
Marta is receiving counselling at the “Safe House for women and children victims of violence” and has resumed her education, which had been interrupted due to her family upheaval. She loves music, stating that it had been her “light in the darkness”, and has returned to music school. She increasingly spends time with her house mates, enjoys learning new things and languages, has a wide range of interests, and actively participated in creating New Year’s souvenirs. In the House of Opportunity, the residents learn together through life-skills training, home work and housework assignments, and build a sense of belonging vital to the confidence and motivation of the young people.
Today, Marta’s plan for continued education is taking shape. Her trust in the house parents continues to grow, and her smile appears more often. Her story is still unfolding, but with her new-found stability and the support of her new family, Marta can begin to leave the conflicts of the past behind her and dream once again.